New Doors

Happy 2015 !

  Decided to do something different, and instead of making another post on fashion, I decided to make my first post of this new year about a new beginning and why I truly believe this year will be my year and OUR year.

  Throughout the 2013-2014 year, I was giving up, was not motivated, and was feeling stuck in every part of my life. I could not get in tune with my inner self, my goals/dreams, and my true personality. I was closed off from every person I came into contact with, jumping from job to job, rushing everything I needed to do minor or major, felt more upset and very sad more often, gave up the gym, family and other relationships were broken apart, etc.. I could go on on how miserable I was becoming. I felt my body and my mind just giving up. Everything that was told I could not do, was being proven right.

  But the last few days of the year, I noticed that out of all the bad I only kept seeing, I still had something in me.

  My soul. My inner reflection, my passionate outlook, the actual Me.

  It was still there, shining through. I was still Me inside; I just let all the negativity that tried to come into my life have a free ticket in for a year, a whole year. I allowed the bad outweigh the good that was brought into my life that year.

  I opened up a journal of mine that I use as my Life Journal. Inside I have all the destinations, adventures, life experiences, and other activities I want to do before I pass away. In that journal, I also have a few written notes on things I would like to learn more about, the degrees I would like to receive, and the life I want. Its a journal I made to myself when I was extremely passionate in my dreams and goals to remind myself that if one day, I wondered how I was giving up and couldn't get back to myself, that I could look into this journal and remember who I was and why.

  Needless to say, that journal had me back to my journey of living my life. That journal, full of my goals and ideas, gave me the inspiration that was already in me, but was dimmed. It was always in me. Besides the downpour in my 2013 and 2014, I was able to move out on my own (been a year and half now), graduate from the cosmetology program and  high school with a diploma and Cosmetology license, got my driving license, bought myself my first car, attended Johnson and Wales for a semester, and continued to take care of myself and keep me afloat. For a nineteen year old, I am extremely proud of myself.

  I now realize that at a young age, moving out and taking care of yourself is much harder than people think. Its not impossible, but its not a walk in the park either. Yes, some things people have doubted in me or have said it would be difficult and I agree that some tasks were difficult. I was not wrong, I had all the best intentions, and few times you do slip, but I never gave up. I always pushed through and I owe that to my inner reflection and God for making that small light in me get me through everything I endured.

      Soooooooooooo where am I going with this your asking?

Well I will tell you.

  2013 for me and maybe for some of you, was a year of Trial & Error and Growth. I learned so much from that whole year. I do not regret the steps I took or lessons I endured, because they all taught me lessons and gave me empowerment. It gave me inspiration. It gave me meaning.

  Since starting this new year, I have a new outlook on my life and the world around. And with changing that mindset, I have many opportunities come my way, and have many more to look forward to in the upcoming future. I have closed doors from the past year that I know would only get in the way of my own happiness, but I have taken so many of those new open doors as well. As we speak, I am proving that doubt WRONG.

  I ask of myself and you all who are reading this, to take last year or years as periods of Growth. Our past has taught us all that those lives were not the ones we want to live from years to come. Never let yourself allow that negative energy to take over your thoughts and never let that burning flame blow out. No matter how much the struggle or burden, always let it burn, even if it is dimmed for the moment. Let your passion and ambition for your dreams and goals explode with ideas and different paths to get to those destinations ! Let this year be the year to be Inspired. Let this year be the year that you get EXACTLY what you want or be firmly on that path to were you would like and meant to be !

  We all have our own happiness and this year, I defiantly am motivated and passionate about finding it and living in it. I am ready for this journey in 2015. Bring it on !

Think about it. . . . Why wait? If not now, then when ?

Much love and Best wishes,

Jeannisa Mahrie

xoxoxo